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Slowly opening the doors up for reclusive youth — Seoul gov't leads the way

Published: 29 Sep. 2025, 11:07 Updated: 29 Sep. 2025, 14:10

An illustration of reclusive, socially withdrawn youth [JOONGANG ILBO]

“I feel so guilty for not being able to help.”

Kim (alias), a mother of two, spoke with a trembling voice as she shared her story at the first Seoul Forum on Support Policies for Reclusive Youth, held Tuesday at the Seoul Museum of History in central Seoul. Her son had spent years shut away in a dark room, his world limited to online games on his computer screen.

Kim's son had lived a relatively ordinary life until a few years ago, when he took the College Scholastic Ability Test. Entering a university he hadn’t wanted to attend eventually led him to drop out, after which he threw himself into gaming. Even after completing his mandatory military service, he remained withdrawn. At some point, he began locking his door.

Kim blamed herself, but more hardship struck — her husband was diagnosed with cancer. As she devoted more time to caring for her husband, her son’s room grew darker and more isolated.

Just before she felt completely overwhelmed, Kim came across the Seoul Youth Gijigae Center. She enrolled in its training program for guardians of socially withdrawn and reclusive youth. Applying what she learned, she began reconnecting with her family — starting with her husband. They made time to talk and took up cycling together. As their strained relationship began to improve, Kim found renewed strength to restore her relationship with their son. Her husband, who used to say, “The timing doesn’t work. I’m too tired,” also began participating in the center’s training program this year.

Young people rest at the Seoul Youth Gijigae Center in Jongno District, central Seoul, on Nov. 14, 2024. [JOONGANG ILBO]

After completing the training, Kim and her husband realized they had been focused solely on their withdrawn son. They began to notice their daughter had been enduring her own struggles in silence. But the emotional wounds she had accumulated were deep. A consultation with a counselor at the center offered critical insight — that she needed “a space to rest and maintain self-differentiation,” a core concept in family therapy referring to maintaining one’s identity in close relationships.

Kim said the first breakthrough came when her son stepped out of his room. She began by asking him for help with household chores — washing dishes, peeling garlic, cleaning rooms, hanging laundry. These small requests worked. He emerged from his room and even completed tasks neatly. Each time, Kim thanked him with a cup of coffee. Eventually, she said, his door opened on its own.

Recently, when her tablet PC malfunctioned, Kim left it on the table for her son. He later approached her and said, “Here’s how to do this, and here’s how to fix that …” Gone was the young man who used to say, “Ask her [his sister] to do it.”

Kim has since started studying family counseling. “I used to blame myself, thinking I couldn’t help my children because I wasn’t educated,” she said. “Now, I know there are people and organizations out there that offer support.” She added, “My son and I are both learning and growing.”

Seoul Mayor Oh Se-hoon takes part in a songpyeon (Korean traditional moon-shaped rice cake) with young people at the Seoul Youth Gijigae Center in Jongno District, central Seoul, after the center opened on Sept. 12, 2024. [SEOUL METROPOLITAN GOVERNMENT]

The Seoul Youth Gijigae Center, which supports socially withdrawn youth, marked its first anniversary this year. The center offers around 50 tailored programs designed to help youth recover daily routines, rebuild relationships and reenter society. According to Seoul Metropolitan Government data, 927 people — mostly parents — have received guardian training from the center, while 5,743 young people have used its services.

Though only a year old, the center has already shown measurable results. Among program participants, feelings of isolation and depression dropped by about 20 percent, while self-efficacy increased by 19.6 percent, according to the center's survey. The impact was even greater among parents like Kim — understanding of their children improved by 97 percent, and relationship quality by 77 percent.

“This forum was the first of its kind to assess the city’s efforts in establishing a dedicated agency and policies for socially withdrawn youth,” said Kim Cheol-hee, director of Seoul’s Future Youth Planning Bureau. “We will continue to support recovery experiences that lead youth toward self-directed growth, reintegration into society and, ultimately, broader social contributions.”

This article was originally written in Korean and translated by a bilingual reporter with the help of generative AI tools. It was then edited by a native English-speaking editor. All AI-assisted translations are reviewed and refined by our newsroom.
BY KIM MIN-WOOK [[email protected]]