Laws exist to end dating violence and stalking. So why do victims remain so vulnerable?
Published: 23 Aug. 2025, 07:00
![A depiction of stalking. This image is unrelated to the story. [GETTY IMAGES BANK]](https://koreajoongangdaily.joins.com/data/photo/2025/08/23/3f6277a3-8543-46c5-9bea-0df2bfe1192e.jpg)
A depiction of stalking. This image is unrelated to the story. [GETTY IMAGES BANK]
Victims of dating violence in Korea remain vulnerable despite existing stalking laws and protection measures.
A shocking story of a 25-year-old woman named Han Seo-yeon, whose name has been changed for anonymity, who had to endure four years of abuse after ending a relationship, revealed the limits of law enforcement and social safety nets.
Han's story began in March 2020, in what eventually turned out to be four years of terror — beatings, attempted home intrusions, threats to distribute sex videos and retaliatory lawsuits.
Han began dating a man of the same age, Kim Ik-hyeon, whose name has also been changed for anonymity. At first, their relationship seemed no different from any other young couple’s. But in June 2021, it began to unravel after Han discovered Kim had secretly met with his ex-girlfriend.
When Han ended things, Kim refused to accept it. And that's when her long nightmare started.
He threatened to release their sex videos “to boost your Instagram followers,” and slapped her across the face. Even after Han blocked his number, the harassment continued. He sent dozens of threatening text messages, sometimes transferring her tiny amounts of money with transfer notes like, “I’ll do something crazy and then die.”
Years of torment, only weak punishment
Kim also tried to physically invade Han's house. Around 1 a.m. on Dec. 3, 2021, he climbed the drainpipe of Han’s building and attempted to break into her third-floor room. Hearing noises, Han opened her window and found him clinging to the pipe.
Terrified, she called the police on speakerphone, telling them, “My ex-boyfriend is trying to climb into my room.” Though Kim immediately fled, he attempted the same twice more.
Police advised her to file a formal statement, but Han, fearing retaliation, could not bring herself to go to the station.
Kim’s behavior escalated further. He threatened self-harm, once sending a video of himself lighting charcoal briquettes inside his car to seem as if he was trying to suffocate himself. On another occasion, he cut himself across the stomach, forcing Han to take him to the emergency room.
![A man in his 30s who was arrested for allegedly attempting to kill a woman in her 20s with a knife in a hospital parking lot in Ulsan, is escorted to the Ulsan District Court on July 30 for a pretrial detention hearing. [YONHAP]](https://koreajoongangdaily.joins.com/data/photo/2025/08/23/ec25e47d-07f8-47ea-bee3-d6e537e05bbf.jpg)
A man in his 30s who was arrested for allegedly attempting to kill a woman in her 20s with a knife in a hospital parking lot in Ulsan, is escorted to the Ulsan District Court on July 30 for a pretrial detention hearing. [YONHAP]
“It was someone I once loved saying he’d die if I didn’t see him,” Han recalled. “I felt weak. And I was terrified he really would spread the videos.”
Kim began his military duty in April 2023. Seeing her chance, Han cut off all contact. But from June to August that year, Kim sent her a staggering 2,408 text messages from his barracks, writing things like, “Now I understand why boyfriends kill their ex-girlfriends.”
“That was when I realized this would only end with my death,” Han said. “I couldn’t go on living like this. I decided to report him.”
In May last year, a military court convicted Kim of threatening to distribute sexual images, stalking, attempted home invasion and assault. He was sentenced to just one year in prison.
Fear of retaliation keeps victims silent
Even that did not end the ordeal. In March this year, Han received notice from police that she was under investigation — after Kim filed a retaliatory countersuit. Kim claimed to police that between April and September 2022, Han had installed a home camera at his residence to monitor him, verbally abused him and caused him to suffer from depression. Han had to appear before police to prove her innocence.
On July 9, police cleared Han, saying, “There is no evidence supporting the suspect’s claims beyond his own testimony.” But her life had already been devastated. She had to change homes and phone numbers twice and eventually quit her job.
“I’m still afraid he’ll go after my family,” Han said through tears.
Her lawyer, Hong Pu-reun, pointed out systemic flaws: “Even after a restraining order was issued, the perpetrator contacted her family. This shows the limitations of the system.”
Experts call for legal reform
Experts say Han’s case is far from rare, and that it is a “familiar” pattern in dating violence. Some even say that Han was “lucky to have survived.”
Her ordeal mirrors the Daegu stalking murder case in June this year, where a man fatally stabbed his ex-girlfriend after climbing up a gas pipe into her apartment. Both cases share a pattern: victims, fearing retaliation, withdrew complaints, only for years of abuse to continue.
According to the Korean National Police Agency, 4,317 people were classified as requiring protection from stalking in the first half of this year. Of them, 153 were deemed “very high risk” — already nearly matching last year’s total of 173.
Police assess risk on a five-level scale determined through a checklist. Victims rated “very high risk,” which counts for at least 19 factors out of 28, are offered private security, while those at “high risk” are given smartwatches for emergency alerts.
![A suspect accused of fatally stabbing a woman in her 50s after stalking her and breaking into her apartment in Dalseo District, Daegu, enters the Daegu District Court’s western branch on June 16 for a pretrial detention hearing. [NEWS1]](https://koreajoongangdaily.joins.com/data/photo/2025/08/23/58a94464-98dd-4c65-8f3c-379789ce584f.jpg)
A suspect accused of fatally stabbing a woman in her 50s after stalking her and breaking into her apartment in Dalseo District, Daegu, enters the Daegu District Court’s western branch on June 16 for a pretrial detention hearing. [NEWS1]
But even in “very high risk” cases, if the victim refuses protection, law enforcement’s role is limited — a challenge for front-line officers. The victim in a dating violence murder in Daejeon on July 29 had also submitted a letter of non-punishment and declined protective measures before her death.
“Three of the 10 victims we are monitoring at ‘very high risk’ submitted letters of non-punishment,” an official at a police precinct’s women and youth division in Seoul said. “We’re trying to persuade them to accept protection measures, but we worry something may happen before then.”
In response, the police announced a new Dating Violence Response Manual on Aug. 10, urging officers to apply the Stalking Punishment Act more proactively, even if victims say they do not want charges pressed. Unlike other laws, the Stalking Punishment Act allows prosecution regardless of the victim's intent.
Still, critics point out limitations.
“Many dating violence incidents are one-off, which makes it difficult to meet the law’s requirements of repetition and continuity,” one officer said.
Lawmakers are currently debating whether to add dating violence to the Stalking Punishment Act or to create a separate Dating Violence Punishment Act.
“A special law could create sentencing imbalances and other side effects, so we need to be prudent. What’s urgently needed is faster investigations and stronger protection for victims,” said lawyer Lee Seung-hye, a sexual violence specialist.
This article was originally written in Korean and translated by a bilingual reporter with the help of generative AI tools. It was then edited by a native English-speaking editor. All AI-assisted translations are reviewed and refined by our newsroom.
BY LEE YOUNG-KEUN,OH SO-YEONG [[email protected]]
with the Korea JoongAng Daily
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